did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
