I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
