Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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