hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
