Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
