I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
