How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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