Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
