Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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