I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
My cat gives me a boner
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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