Welp...herpes.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
