thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
