Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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