someone get that fucking seahorse.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
