just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
