Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
