What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
