Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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