so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
