Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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