i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
