Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
