did you get engaged???
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
