At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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