peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
