My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
