I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
