So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Help. Why am I so naked?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
