I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
