Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
