This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
