maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
how drunk are you?
Several
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
