So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
