He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
