My first STD was from a foam party
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
