Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
