Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
