therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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