So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
