Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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