If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
