If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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