I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
