i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
