then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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