i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
