I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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