seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
That accounts for only three of the penises
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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