He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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