God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize