when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
