ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize