I murdered the dance floor call the cops
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
