It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
