I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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