Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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