True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
These tits shall not be calmed
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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