Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Two words: blizzard sex
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
