i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
No stitches, just platelets and will power
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
