Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
