oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
